Israel’s Foreign Ministry Unwittingly Borrows an Old Mel Brooks Parody

Scene 1

Uncle Lewy heard that his millionaire nephew was dying.

Every day he would call him and ask him to remember his dear uncle in his will.

After many months of nudging, Uncle Lewy’s persistence paid off.

His dear nephew died, and Uncle Lewy received an old 45 inch record which contained his last will and testament.

Uncle Lewy went home and listened to the record from his dear nephew.

He opened his record player with great expectation.

And there was the voice of his dying nephew:
“Hello Uncle Lewy.Just wanted you to know that I did remember you in my will”. The dear late nephew then proceeded to bequeath his millions to every one he could think of, although not to Uncle Lewy.

Uncle Lewy’s nephew had been true to his word.

He had taken Uncle Lewy’s request “into consideration”.

Scene 2

Uncle Lewy signed a rental contract for an apartment with his nephew the landlord which stated that his landlord did have not to fix the plumbing.

After Uncle Lewy signed the rental agreement, he sent a letter to his nephew the landlord in which he politely asked his landlord to fix the plumbing.

The landlord, who liked his Uncle Lewy, immediately called his new tenant and said that he would take his letter “into consideration”.

Well, Uncle Lewy’s toilet overflowed the day after his rental agreement went into effect. Uncle Lewy called his nephew the landlord right away.

The landlord was waiting for Uncle Lewy’s call.

He left a recorded message on his answering machine in which he said, “Hello Uncle Lewy. Just wanted to know that I have taken your letter into consideration. Good luck in fixing the toilet”..

And so it was on Sunday May 25, 2003 in Jerusalem.

Under duress, the government of Israel agreed to accept the US “road map” which dictates that Israel relinquish the areas that it had gained in the a defensive war that Israel fought and won in 1967. That same road map is explicitly based on the March 2002 Saudi Arabian plan which requires Israel to recognize “the right of return” for all Palestinian Arabs and their descendents to take back lands that Israel gained in the defensive war that it fought and won in 1948

After the Israeli government accepted the road map, the Jewish state dispatched a letter to the US government which contained 14 “reservations”.

Yet on the same day that the Israeli government accepted the “road map”, the US state department circulated a memo to the world media and to the government of Israel in which it said that it would not allow for any changes in the “road map”, but that it would “consider” comments from both sides

Hello Uncle Lewy.

The last thing that the Israel Ministry of Foreign Affairs wants he world to know is that the Road Map agreement of May 25th transformed the government of Israel into one great unhappy Uncle Lewy.

Therefore, the Israel Ministry of Foreign Affairs has launched a world wide effort to convey the impression that Israel’s comments on the road map were accepted by the US government as a binding, integral part of the road map.

From reports that our agency has received, that line has been communicated in briefings conducted for the World Jewish Congress, AIPAC and the UJC. According to one director of a major Jewish Community Relations Council, he was given to understand from his local Israeli consul that the US had accepted Israel’s 14 reservations as “binding” upon the road map.

In a May 29th statement issued by Moshe Fox, The Minister for Public Affairs at The Embassy of Israel in Washington DC “Israel views its comments on the Road Map, and the American commitment to address these comments, as integral parts of the Road Map’s implementation process. Consequently, Israel’s comments were attached to the government decision itself”

And so the deception begins. How similar it is to the deception policies of the Israeli government ten years ago, when the government of Israel conveyed the impression among all of Israel’s friends in the world that Arafat and his colleagues had made ironclad commitments to peace and reconciliation, while obfuscating the message that the nascent Palestinian Authority was communicating to its own people.

The Israeli government then went so far as to orchestrate official visits for Arafat with major Jewish organizations, while arranging for the Isaiah Award for Peace to be bestowed upon Arafat by the Prime Minister’s mission of the UJC in October 1999, until our news agency disclosed the plans of that ill-fated award which caused its cancellation.

Well, Israel’s Foreign Ministry can fool some of the people some of the time, but not all of the people all of the time.

It will not be long for many people to invoke Mel Brooks’ image of a silly Uncle Lewy as the face of the state of Israel today.